


An Infinity of Missing You

by Satanlickmydick



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Best Friends, Car Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Impala Sex, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Love, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Nudes, Phone Sex, Sex in the Impala, Smut, nude pics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-14 17:32:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4573416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Satanlickmydick/pseuds/Satanlickmydick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas had been friends since Dean moved to Lawrence when they were six. They've been together through it all. When they become more than friends everything seems perfect. Until it's not. Five years pass. Can they fix what was broken?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When it Seems Perfect it Must Go Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this idea has been in my head for a while and while I'm not so sure about how it turned out I figured I'd share it anyway!

Dean and Cas had been best friends forever. Ever since the Winchesters moved to Lawrence when Dean and Cas were six. They were best friends when Dean’s dad started drinking when they were eight. They were best friends when Cas’s dad left at eleven. They were best friends when they started middle school at twelve. They were best friends when Dean got his first kiss from Bela behind the gym at thirteen. They were best friends when they started high school at fourteen. They were best friends when Cas won the state science bowl at fifteen.

At sixteen they weren’t best friends anymore after Cas whispered a hesitant “I love you” in the passenger seat of Dean’s old impala when they drove out to the lake at sixteen. They were more. They were lovers when Dean pulled him in and kissed him.

Dean drove Cas home that night and since neither of them could sleep, they stayed up on the phone, whispering the things they had wanted to for the last ten years.

The next day at school, everything seemed the same on the outside. Nobody knew the secret of the two best friends who weren’t just best friends anymore.

Eventually they told their other best friends, Kevin, Charlie, Garth, Jo and Benny. But they kind of already knew.

Dean’s little brother Sammy found out when he walked into Dean’s room and saw them kissing. He just smiled and promised not to tell their father.

Cas turned seventeen.

Castiel’s older brother Gabe found out when Cas came home with puffy red eyes after his and Dean’s first fight. He broke down and explained everything. Dean showed up at their house an hour later and apologized to Cas, telling him he loved him and he never meant to hurt him. Dean pulled Cas in close and kissed him. Gabe just smiled and went into the kitchen, leaving the two boys to their privacy.

Dean turned seventeen.

A few months later, when Dean’s father was out of town for five days on business, and Sammy was sleeping over his friend’s house, Dean and Cas shared their first time. It wasn’t perfect, and yet it was, in every way. They fumbled to get their clothes off, hands not knowing where to go. They laughed and kissed and eventually figured it out together. When they were coming down from their high, Dean wrapped a hand around Cas’s waist and mumbled a sleepy “I love you” into his neck and Cas smiled, falling asleep to the sound of Dean’s breathing.

A year went past. A year of secret smiles in the school hallways. A year of kissing in the dark back seat of Dean’s car. A year of fights and makeups. A year of crying and laughing and making love.

When they were almost finished with their senior year, Cas got his college letters back. He got accepted to NYU and Kansas University, both with full scholarships. 

Dean drove them out to the lake to celebrate. They swam in the clear water until dusk. They laid out a blanket and made love as the sun went down.

Cas decided he was going to go to Kansas University to stay close to Dean while Dean worked at his Dad’s friend's garage to earn some money.

Until two months before graduation.

Cas called Dean on friday night to see if he wanted to go to the movies. Dean didn’t answer.

He texted Dean Saturday morning to ask if he wanted to go to the diner for lunch. Dean didn’t answer.

Sunday night he drove to Dean’s house and knocked on the door. Sammy answered.

“Hey Sam, is Dean home?” Cas smiled.

Sam looked scared, he swallowed and opened his mouth to answer when a gruff voice came from behind him.

“Who’s at the door Sammy?” John Winchester came up behind the fourteen year old and frowned. “Oh, you.” He said, looking at Cas.

“Hi, Mr. Winchester, is Dean home?” Cas asked, becoming a little nervous.

“Sammy, go upstairs, and tell your brother to come down.” He told the boy. Sam nodded and ran up the stairs, almost tripping halfway up.

John turned around and went into the living room. “You can come in for now.” John said coldly. Cas felt sick as he followed the man. John turned around and stared at Cas. Cas shifted on his feet awkwardly. They stood like that for a minute until Dean came walking down the stairs. He looked between his father and Cas and stood at the bottom of the stairs.

“Is- Is everything okay, Dean?” Cas asked, when he noticed Dean’s split lip.

“Go ahead boy, tell him.” John said.

Dean looked down at the floor. “I- We can’t hang out anymore.”

Cas stood silent for a minute. “What?” He choked out.

“I don’t want to be with you anymore.” Dean said, a bit louder.

“Dean, what- what’s going on?” Cas said, almost hyperventilating.

“You heard him.” John said coldly. “Dean ain’t a faggot.”

His words came like a punch to the gut to Cas. Cas looked from John to Dean.

“Dean you-” He stuttered. “Is that how you feel?” He asked.

“Yes.” Replied the blonde.

“But- we-” Cas stammered on the verge of tears. “You said it was you and me… forever.”

“I don’t love you, Cas!” Dean shouted, looking up, his eyes watery.

Cas took a step back in shock.

“I think you should leave now.” John said, stepping closer to Cas.

Cas looked between John and Dean, then turned and sprinted out of the house, he got into his car and drove. He was in shock, no tears would come because he was numb. In disbelief. He didn’t realize where he was going until the car stopped at the lake. The lake where he told Dean he loved him for the first time. The lake where Dean first kissed him. He looked out at the water, where the moon shone beautifully. He rested his head against the steering wheel and suddenly a dam burst inside him. He sobbed, his face soaking, he cried and cried until his throat was sore and his stomach ached. He laid on the seat and curled his knees up to his chest. He stared ahead of him until his eyes were too heavy to remain open. He distantly heard his phone ring. It was probably Gabe, wondering where he was.

Cas woke to tapping on the driver’s side window, he lifted his head and looked up. The sun was so bright. He saw Gabe’s face and sat up. He pushed open the door and Gabe slid into the driver’s seat.

“You didn’t come home last night, that’s not like you.” He said.

Cas looked down at his lap.

“I called Dean and he didn’t answer, then the school said you didn’t show up. I called Charlie too, she said Dean’s dad heard you two on the phone, so I looked around a bit and what do you know, I find you here.”

Cas stayed silent.

“What happened?”

“It’s over.” Cas croaked, his throat still sore from last night. “We’re over. His dad made him and-” Cas’s throat clenched and he bit back tears.

“Oh…” Gabe responded. He didn’t know what else to say, so he simply put an arm around Cas and let him rest his head on his shoulder.

Cas decided to go to New York. To get out of Kansas, it might help him move on. Start fresh.


	2. Back to the Place Where Memories Live

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I know nothing about Kansas University or Kansas in general (I live in New York). And I know almost nothing about college degrees so if something's wrong don't blame me, haha. :)

Cas walked down the street where he often visited in high school. He just came out of the library, he was going to go back home where he planned on relaxing and reading his newly acquired book when he heard a familiar voice.

“Cas?”

Cas turned around to face the source of the voice. Charlie. She looked older than she did when he last saw her five years ago at graduation. But she still had her curly red hair and that gleam in her eyes.

“Charlie?” He smiled. Walking towards her.

“Oh my god! It’s been so long!” She exclaimed pulling Cas into a crushing hug. She always was stronger than most people expected. They pulled away and looked at each other.

“Yeah, it has.” Cas said. “How are you?” He said, still smiling.

“I’m great! Actually, I was just going to get some coffee, care to join me?” She asked.

Cas chuckled. “Sure.” He replied. Charlie linked their arms together just like they used to do in high school and they walked down the street to the Starbucks.

Charlie ordered her usual Large black coffee with two shots of raspberry syrup.

Cas ordered a Classic Chai Tea Latte.

They sat down and started catching up.

“So what have you been doing the last five years?” Cas questioned.

“Well I tried the whole college thing and the Community College, it wasn’t for me. But then I got in trouble with the law for some… minor… hacking…”

“Charlie!” Cas chided.

“It was totally okay though! A major game developer was really impressed and now I’m working for them, it’s the dream job, really.” She said, leaning back in her chair. “What have you been up to?”

“Well I moved to New York, I got my a double bachelors in anthropology and religious theology.” He said.

“Ooh, impressive.” Charlie cooed. Cas chuckled.

“Yeah, well… I worked at a museum for a year. Then Gabe started having a little trouble paying the mortgage on the house, so I got a research grant at Kansas University and a job at the museum here so I could move back and help out.” He explained.

“Wow, cool.” Charlie thought. “Do you like it?” She asked.

“Oh yeah, I get to experience ancient texts first hand, get to analyze artifacts, it’s fascinating.” He said.

They talked and laughed for a little while longer, until Charlie looked behind Cas and her eyes widened.

Cas didn’t have a chance to turn around and see what she was looking at before he heard that voice.

His voice.

“Hey Charlie, who's-” The man froze. “Cas?”

Cas looked up.

Dean.

He looked so much older. His freckles seemed darker and he had more lines on his face. But his eyes were just as green as they used to be. He was so beautiful.

Cas figured this could happen. He didn’t know if Dean was still living in Lawrence when he moved back here. But he figured that they were adults and they could put the past behind them.

Cas realized he hadn’t spoken in a few minutes.

“Yeah, hi, hey, Dean.” He said, standing up nervously.

Charlie just looked back and forth between them.

“I- I didn’t know you were back in town.” Dean rasped.

“Yeah, I, uh, just got back a few weeks ago.” Cas replied.

“So, you’ve moved back for good?” Dean asks.

“Seems that way, yeah.” Cas says.

“Oh, uh, cool.” Dean rubs the back of his neck.

“Um,” Cas stares at his shoes for a minute. “I, um, I have to get going, I have some work that I need to catch up on before Monday, and uh…” He grabs his back and picks up his tea. He turns to Charlie.

“It was really good seeing you again Charlie.” He smiles.

“You too.” She says, a sort of solemn look on her face.

He turns to Dean. “I’ll um, I guess I’ll catch you later.” He kind of mumbles.

“Yeah, yeah we should catch up.” Dean responds.

And then Cas is out of there as fast as his feet can carry him.

Charlie calls him two days later. How she got his number he’ll never know.

“Hey bitch, what’s up?” She practically shouts.

Cas laughs. “Just going through some museum paperwork. How about you?”

“Hacking into the CIA’s database to see if they’ve made contact with aliens yet, which I KNOW they have.” She says.

“Ha ha.” Cas says sarcastically.

“No but seriously, I’m having a party tomorrow night at the roadhouse, okay well it’s technically Jo’s party celebrating her mom FINALLY putting her on the lease, but I’m planning it. I told everyone how you were back in town and they’re all dying to catch up.” She explains.

“Charlie-” Cas sighs.

“No, Cas, if I know you, you’ll spend the rest of your life doing museum work, which can be fun, yes, but you need friends and real fun too, so you’re coming to the party if I have to drag you there myself.” She rants.

“Ugh, fine. I’ll come. Are you happy?” Cas gives in.

“Yes very.” Charlie replies, giddily. “Now I gotta go see a man about a cheesecake. Peace out.” And she hangs up.

Cas runs a hands through his hair.

This was either going to go very good or very bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I plan on uploading chapter three today as well (8-14-15) but if I don't I promise it'll be up soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At Jo's party, some things are done that maybe should not have happened.

Cas showed up to the roadhouse in his usual attire, a plain black (slightly informal) black suit and his tan trenchcoat. He left his favorite blue tie at home, he figured he didn’t need it for a small party in a family restaurant. 

He walked around, recognizing people from his years of adolescence. He said hi here and there, shaking a few hands as he made his way to the bar, where Ellen was chatting with some people.

She noticed him and said an excuse me to the people she was talking with.

“Well what d’you know? Little Cas is all grown up!” She smiled, leaning on the bar across from him.

“Hi Ellen.” Cas smiled.

“How ya been, sugar?” She asked.

“Good, just getting used to being home.” He replied.

“You want a drink?” She asked.

“I really shouldn’t-”

“Oh, now stop that, this is a party.” Ellen pressed. She poured him a glass of whiskey and pushed it across the bar. “Drink up.” She winked.

“Thanks.” Cas said, stepping away from the bar. He moved to the center of the room where he could hear Charlie laughing.

“There he is!” Charlie exclaimed, throwing her arm around Cas’s shoulders.

Cas looked around at the group. Kevin’s hair was longer. Benny had a lot more stubble. Garth was still long and lanky, but he had a wiser look on his face. Jo was stunning, she had really grown into herself.

“Welcome home, college boy!” Kevin said, slapping him on the arm. They all caught Cas up on what had happened in the last five years, laughing and joking. Cas started to relax, but maybe that was the two more glasses of whiskey he had.

Then Jo’s phone rang. She answered and after a few seconds and some curt “uh-huh”s, she hung up. 

“Dean’s gonna be here in a minute, he got off work at the garage late.” She said, then suddenly stopped. Everyone tried their best not to look at Cas.

“I- I’m gonna just go to the bathroom.” He mumbled. Oh god he wasn’t ready for this, he was way too tipsy. After splashing some water on his face and giving himself a mental pep talk, he walked back out.

Dean was at the end of the bar, smiling and chatting with the girl behind it. Jo came up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder, he turned around and smiled even wider, he kissed her on the cheek and pulled her into a big hug, like he always did with the people he loved.

Cas stood sort of frozen in the corner of the room until Kevin came and stood next to him.

“You should go talk, just, get it out of the way.” He spoke.

“Kevin- I-”

“Look, I know things ended shitty and you didn’t really leave off in a good place, but for fuck’s sake it’s been five years, things are different now.” Kevin stated bluntly.

Cas sighed. “Okay. Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He placed his drink down on the bar. “I’m counting on you to rescue me if I give the signal.”

Kevin just rolled his eyes.

Cas walked across the room to where Dean leaned against the wall, tapping out something on his phone.

“Uh, hey, Dean.” He muttered awkwardly. Hands hanging at his sides.

Dean looked up and smiled. “Hey, wow, didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Yeah, well, Charlie invited me, actually she kind of demanded I came.” He chuckled.

Dean huffed out a little laugh. “Well, that’s Charlie.” He said. “So, how are you?”

“Good…” Cas replied somewhat awkwardly. “How are you.”

“Good, yeah, I’m good.”

“That’s good.”

They stood for a moment in silence until Cas felt the need to speak.

“So you still work at Bobby’s?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, it’s good work, y’know? I like it, and I’m good at it.” Dean responded.

“That’s good.” Cas said.

“What’re you doing back here though?”

“I’m working at the museum, and I have a research grant at the university, so…” Cas replied.

“Wow! Cas that’s awesome! You’ve always wanted to do something like that. You talked about it a lot when we were-” Dean froze. This was uncharted territory. A kind of unspoken rule that they were not to speak about… that.

“Yeah…” Cas just trailed off.

They stood there in another awkward silence for what felt like ages.

“So… you still driving the impala?”

Dean smiled again, and god did Cas miss that smile.

“Yeah! I actually just got her a shiny new coat of paint. Wanna see?” Dean talking about his car was like a kid talking about all the candy they got on Halloween.

Cas chuckled. “Sure.”

Him and Dean walked outside into the parking lot, it had gotten dark out and Dean was parked pretty far from the restaurant since he was one of the last to arrive. They walked up to the classic black car and Dean lovingly patted the hood.

“So?”

“Looks great, Dean.” Cas smiled.

Dean unlocked the car and opened the driver’s side backdoor. “Go ahead, hop in.”

Cas slid inside as Dean leaned against the open door. “Smells the same.”

“Minus the pot.” Dean states.

Cad chuckles again. “Minus the pot.”

They sat in silence for a moment before Dean spoke up.

“Scoot over.” He said.

Cas slid over to the other end of the bench seat. Dean slid inside and closed the door.

“Everything’s the same around here. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love this town, the people the places, but sometimes I feel like it’s missing something.” Dean spoke.

Cas stayed quiet, not knowing what to say. Then, he turned to speak, but all the words fell out of his brain when he realized how close he was to Dean.

The last time they were both in the backseat of this car was April of their senior year.

Easter was not far away and it was so nice out, it was not too hot but the sun gave everything a warm glow. They were parked in a field by the library. Dean had Cas laid out across the backseat, his head propped up by a small pile of their discarded clothes. Dean had kissed his way up from Cas’s chest to just under his ear. Cas’s hand slid up to grab at Dean’s back, his nails raked red lines down to his tailbone, Dean just smiled against the side of Cas’s neck. “I love you, Angel” He whispered.

Cas’s breath hitched. Remembering moments like that with Dean… never ended well.

Dean’s eyes looked Cas up and down and he slid a bit closer, if either of them moved, they would be touching.

Cas swallowed the lump in his throat. “Dean-” He croaked.

“Shhh.” Dean demanded. And Cas gasped as Dean’s hands came up to his shoulders and slid the tan overcoat off his frame.

Cas started breathing heavier. His brain was blaring “EMERGENCY: EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY. “ but his heart was aching for Dean to touch him more.

Dean’s hands then came up to the top button of Cas’s shirt, he slowly unbuttoned the white dress shirt one at a time. He stopped at Cas’s belt. 

“I-” Cas managed to choke out.

Then, suddenly, he was pulled by the waist onto Dean’s lap, and his already obvious erection was pressed against Dean’s. He couldn’t hold in the guttural moan that escaped his lips as his hands flew up to grab onto Dean’s shoulders.

He stared down into the deep expanse of green that were Dean’s eyes, he slowly leaned down to press his lips against the blonde’s, but before he could get the satisfaction of kissing him, Dean pulled his head back by the hair at the nape of his neck and latched his teeth onto the small spot on the side of Cas’s neck that always drove him wild.

“Dean!” He gasped as his hips rocked forward subconsciously. 

Him and Dean grinded their hips against each other while Dean licked and bit Cas’s neck.

Then, Dean pulled his hands away from where they gripped Cas’s hips and started unbuckling his belt. 

Cas should’ve stopped him, should’ve said something, but every thought left his head when Dean’s hand slid into his boxers and gripped his dick.

Cas moaned and his forehead fell onto Dean’s shoulder.

Dean stroked Cas’s cock and spread the bead of precum with his thumb over the slit, making Cas gasp in please.

Dean used his other hand to unbutton his own jeans and pull himself out of his pants, 

Then, he held their dicks together and started stroking again.

“Dean-!” Cas moaned and bit down on Dean’s shirt.

“Fuck, yes, Cas…” Dean groaned as he rocked his hips up to meet Cas’s thrusts.

Cas started panting heavy, feeling his orgasm building in his abdomen.

“Oh god- fuck-” He moaned.

“Fuck, Cas… So hot….” Dean breathed into the brunet’s ear. “You like this baby?” Dean growled.

Cas’s hips started thrusting erratically into Dean’s fist.

“Yes! God, yes! Dean!” Cas started shouting and moaning and panting all at once.

“Gonna cum for me, Cas?” Dean asked as he started pumping faster.

“So close…” Cas breathed.

Dean pumped their erections just a few more times and then Cas threw his head back.

“Dean!” He gasped, as hot ropes of cum shot into Dean’s fist.

“Fuck, Cas-!” Dean bit his lip as he felt Cas’s dick throbbing in orgasm against his. He panted as he started coming himself, eyes screwed shut.

They rode through their orgasms together, panting and moaning, until they lay against each other in silence.

-

After the two men had come down from their high, they wiped themselves off with an old tee shirt Dean had in his car and walked awkwardly back inside before people noticed they were gone.

When they got inside, they saw a pretty, dark haired girl laughing with Jo and Kevin across the room. 

“Shit.” Dean muttered under his breath as he walked away from Cas to go over and greet her.

Cas looked over and found Charlie a few feet from him, he pulled her aside.

“Who's that girl talking with Jo?” He asked.

“Oh…” Charlie replied awkwardly.

Dean got over to the them and smiled.

“That’s Lisa; Dean’s fiancee.” She finished.

Dean wrapped an arm around Lisa’s waist and gave her a quick kiss.

Cas’s heart had just broken all over again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know what guys at this point I’m just trying to not spell their names wrong so if this is shit, well... you should just expect it to be shit.  
> I wrote this when i was half asleep so any spelling or grammar mistakes can suck my entire asshole.

Cas woke up to the sound of his phone ringing for the sixth time. He groaned and finally turned over to the other side of the bed where his phone lay.

The time read 2:15pm and there were four missed calls from Charlie… and one from Dean. Charlie was currently calling him, again.

“What do you want, Charlie?” Cas sighed, running a hand through his rat’s nest of hair.

“Dude, are you serious? You haven’t answered any of my calls or texts for two days. Not counting today. So that’s, like, almost three days. What the hell happened at the party?” She ranted.

“Nothing, nothing happened. I’m just not feeling good. I think it’s food poisoning.” Cas mumbled.

“If you tell Ellen you gave her food poisoning she’ll kill you.”

“Yeah, so don’t tell her.” Cas replied, slipping out of bed and walking into the en suite, looking at his tired face. Scruffy, big bags, bloodshot eyes (that are definitely NOT from crying thank you very much.)

“Whatever. Wanna come to Gamestop with me later? They’re having a buy two get one free sale on used 3DS games and mama wants in on that.” Charlie asked.

Cas sighed deeply. He couldn’t say no without Charlie suspecting something was wrong. “Yeah, sure. I’ll be at your place in an hour.”

“Sweet. Later nerd.” She said and made a kissing sound.

Cas hung up and put his phone on the sink counter. 

He stripped down and turned on the shower, stepping under the hot spray.

His hands ran up and down his body as he lathered himself up with soap. He tried not to remember the way Dean’s fingers traced these same places up and down so tenderly. Held him like he used to. Like they were in love again.

But they weren’t. Because Dean was getting married to a beautiful woman, and they looked so happy together.

Except for the fact that Dean had slept with Cas, and for the rest of the night after, he kept staring at Cas when he thought nobody was noticing, but Cas did.

Cas rested his head on the cool ceramic tile, trying to keep a wave of tears from spilling out. He choked back a sob and punched the shower wall and let out a shout, he didn’t even flinch at the stinging pain in his hand.

-

When Charlie and Cas got out of Gamestop (two hours and six purchased games later) Cas’ stomach decided to be very rude and growl loudly.

“Hungry?” Charlie chuckled.

“A little.” Cas said, smiling at her.

“Oh man, there’s this great placed that opened down the street like two years ago, they’re called Crazy Cakes. They’re the best bakery ever, ohmygod their banana nut muffins are literally the best things ever.” She exclaimed.

Cas laughed. “Okay, well then lead the way.”

As they walked Charlie got a text.

“Dean’s saving us some seats, it gets busy this time of day.”

Cas’ stomach flipped and all the color drained from his face.

“Dean’s gonna be there?” Cas’ voice broke as he asked.

“Yeah, why? Kevin told me you guys worked it out at the party.” She questioned.

“Oh, yeah, we did. I, uh- I’m just surprised he’s not at work.” Cas muttered.

“He said it was quiet today so he took off early.” Charlie replied.

“Got it.” Cas replied. They made their way down to the little bakery and it was pretty packed, just like Charlie said it would be. She pulled Cas over to a little booth in the corner where Dean sat.

He had on a pair of grease stained jeans and a worn old green tee. And jesus he was beautiful.  
It made Cas’ chest ache, but he had to put that aside. He was getting married, and their friends would expect him to be happy and act… normal.

Charlie pushed him to slide into the booth and he knocked into Dean’s side.

Their eyes locked for a brief second then they looked away. Cas wanted to vomit, and cry, and then vomit again.

Every moment he had to smell Dean’s unique mix of pine and motor oil, and look at his emerald eyes was pure torture.

A few minutes later a server brought them the giant belgian waffles that Charlie had ordered them.

They got halfway through their meals without incident, then talk of the wedding came up. Charlie started asking if they decided on a menu yet and Cas got light headed. There was no way he could listen to the love of his life talk about the wedding he was planning with someone else.

“Sorry, I just- I have to go to the bathroom.” Cas said and he quickly got up and ran to the back of the restaurant where the restrooms were. 

“He ok?” Dean asked, furrowing his brows.

“I dunno, he said he thought he had food poisoning.” Charlie murmured into her forkful of waffle.

“I’m gonna go check on him.” Dean said as he slid out of the booth.

\----------

“Cas?” Dean knocked on the bathroom door. “You ok in there?” He called.

He heard a faucet turn off. “Yeah!” Cas’ voice cracked. “I- I’m okay!” Followed by some sniffling.

“I’m coming in!” Dean called, as he pushed the door open and walked in, locking it behind him. He was faced with a red-eyed Cas with tear stained cheeks leaning over the sink.

“Cas-” 

“Go away Dean!” Cas choked out.

“Cas- I-” He took a step towards Cas.

Cas sharply turned toward Dean.

“Go! Haven’t you hurt me enough? What else do you want from me? Do you want me to sit in the front row at your wedding and clap and you promise to love someone else forever?!” Cas threw a crumpled ball of wet tissues at Dean. “I can’t fucking do that! You can’t break my heart then come back five years later, fuck me, and then marry someone else and expect me to be fine! Go be with your Fiance Dean!” Cas shouted as he turned away.

Dean grabbed Cas’ shoulder and turned him around.

“Cas, I don’t want to be with her! My dad is making me marry her! Cas, if I don’t marry her he’ll disown me! I’ll loose all the money he’s loaned me, and then I can’t pay for Sam’s tuition at Stanford! I don’t love her Cas… I don’t- I don’t love her…” He looked at the ground, eyes watering, hands still gripping Cas’s shoulders tightly.

Cas placed his hand gently on Dean’s face and pulled it up to look at him.

“Dean… Sam can stand on his own two feet.” Cas said calmly.

“I-” Dean stammered. “But what about me? If my dad disowns me… I’m a Winchester, I’m beer and cars and guns, and if he says that I’m not-”

“Dean who gives a shit what he says you are? All that matters is what you say you are. YOU say you are a Winchester. YOU say you’re cars and guns and whatever else the hell you want to be. You can’t let John tell you what to do or be for the rest of your life.” Cas stated firmly.

“I’m terrified, Cas…” Dean said, barely audible.

“I know, but you don’t have to do this alone. Let me help you.” Cas whispered.

Dean let his forehead rest on Cas’. “I love you.” He said quietly.

“I know.” Cas replied. They pressed their lips together, softly, like they were kissing for the first time all those years ago when they were confused teenagers in high school. Cas grabbed the front of Dean’s shirt and pulled him in impossibly closer. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’ thin waist and pressed them against the wall of the bathroom firmly. They kissed like they were dying, like kissing was the only thing keeping them alive, full of passion and desire and love.

Cas pulled away, and they gasped for air. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for Han/Lei refrences amiright?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i mean at this point it's just fan service. our regularly scheduled plot will return next chapter.

4:27pm  
Dean: How was work?  
Cas: Pretty good, we just got in some new 15th century tapestries, they’re so gorgeous.  
Dean: lol you dork  
Cas: how’s work going for you  
Dean: Some dumbass just brought his car in cuz the check engine light is on, the idiot put some weird bio organic oil in his car and now the engine’s shot. Dumbass  
Cas: of course how stupid  
Dean: alright mr. “is this the emergency brake?”  
Cas: I was fifteen and it was my first time driving a car!  
Dean: you almost broke baby!  
Cas: you and that car  
Dean: hey she’s got a lot of memories  
Cas: i know  
Dean: remember that fourth of july we drove out to kansas city for that concert?  
Cas: the one that we didn't even watch cuz we were in the backseat the whole time? Yeah i remember.  
Dean: ;)  
Cas: i smelled like lube and weed for like two days  
Dean: not my fault  
Cas: it was entirely your fault  
Dean: you just looked so fuckin hot in my old nirvana tee  
Cas: i think i still have that old thing somewhere  
Dean: you’re kidding  
4:56pm  
Cas: lol i just found it, it was in a box i hadn’t unpacked yet, ugh it smells like motor oil and mothballs  
Dean: send me a pic  
Cas: … of your old tshirt?  
Dean: of you in the shirt.  
Cas: why?  
Cas: oh!  
Cas: gimme a minute  
Cas: 1 Attachment  
5:24pm  
Cas: Dean you still there?

 

Dean was in the middle of trying to get that organic oil gunk out of the engine when his phone buzzed. He just asked Cas for a picture of him in the t-shirt, he kind of meant it as a joke, but Cas took it quite seriously. He clicked on the attachment link expecting to see Cas in the tee shirt and jeans giving him a thumbs up, that was so Cas.  
But that’s not the picture Cas sent.  
Cas sent him probably the most arousing picture Dean had ever seen in his entire life. And Dean had seen a lot of porn.

 

Cas was in the middle of his bed, the sheets messy and undone, but pure white, so that it was sharply contrasted against Cas’s lightly tan skin and the dark clothes.  
Cas was wearing the worn black t-shirt with the nirvana logo on it, but Dean wasn’t paying attention to that, he was more interested in what the shirt WASN’T covering. Cas had the shirt hiked up to just below his nipples, you could see his defined stomach, he didn’t have a six pack or anything but he was definitely in shape, he had a runner’s body. His hipbones jutted out, just above his underwear, in between his hipbones was a light trail of hair leading into the navy blue… booty shorts? Omigod Cas owned a pair of booty shorts. They hugged him so you could see all his curves and edges, his back was arched slightly so he could see the curve of his ass, god Cas had a nice ass.

 

Dean was so glad he was the only one in the shop cuz if anyone else saw him with the raging boner he had right now he would never live it down.  
He walked into the office, closed the blinds and locked the door.  
He sat in the old leather chair in the office and unbuttoned his jeans as he dialed Cas.

 

“Hello?” Came Cas’s deep, rough voice.  
“Are you still wearing it?” Dean immediately asked as he slid a hand inside his jeans and rubbed at his hard-on.  
“The shirt?” Cas asked, confused. Dean let his head tilt back a bit.  
“Yeah, the shirt, and the shorts. You still in your bed?” He asked.  
“Yes, wha- oh.” Cas said as he suddenly realized why Dean had called. “Are you still at work?” Cas asked as he laid back down on the bed again, playing with the fraying hem of his shirt.  
“Yeah, in the office, I’m alone though, everyone else left already.” Dean stated.  
“Good. I’m alone too.” Cas said in a slightly more sensual tone than he would normally use.  
“What do you do when you’re alone?” Dean asked, his voice dark with arousal.  
“Sometimes I just like to lay in bed, that’s what I’m doing now, but y’know it’s a little warm in here I’m gonna take my shirt off.” Cas said.  
“Fuck.” Dean groaned and he palmed his dick through his underwear.  
“Are you picturing me with my shirt off?” Cas asked, fake-innocently.  
“Yeah.” Dean replied.  
“With just my shorts on, the ones that are really tight.”  
“Fuck yeah.” Dean sighed.  
“But y’know, they’re a little too tight now, cuz I’m getting a little turned on, Dean,” Cas’ voice got deeper. “What should I do?”  
“Touch yourself.” Dean instructed. “Through your shorts.”  
“I’d rather have you touch me.” Cas whined as his hands slid down to the bulge in his shorts.  
“God, me too Cas, fuck I wanna touch you so bad. Wanna wrap my hand around your dick and lick your neck til you’re moaning.” Dean started stroking his dick faster, he was panting now, picturing Cas in his bed, in his tight little shorts, touching himself.  
“Mmmm, where else would you touch me?” Cas asked as he uncapped the little bottle of lube he kept in his nightstand and started to circle his hole.  
“I’d bite down your chest, bite your hipbones til they’re bruised and you’re so hard you’d be moaning like crazy.”  
“Dean.” Cas moaned as he slid a finger in.  
‘What’re you doing now?”  
“I’m getting my hole nice and open, fuck want your dick so bad, Dean, want you to fuck me hard.” Cas felt a loud moan rip through his as he hit the little bundle of nerves he was searching for. “Dean!”  
“Fuck, Cas, wanna fuck you so bad, wanna bend you over and kiss you til you’re begging to come.” Dean groaned into his phone as his head hit the back of the chair and his strokes became faster, more messy.  
Cas let out a string of moans and curses as he pumped his fingers faster. “Yes, fuck, Dean!” he dropped the phone next to his head and used his other hand to stroke himself as he kept pressing on his prostate.  
“Cas!” Dean shouted as he came all over his hand and t-shirt. Cas vaguely heard his name being called as he pumped his fingers faster.  
“Dean! I’m- fuck! I’m coming!” Cas’s cum shot all over his stomach and chest as he babbled curses and Dean’s name incoherently.  
There were a few seconds of silence as both men tried to catch their breath.  
Cas picked his phone back up. “Shit.”  
“Yeah, shit is right.” Dean responded.  
“I gotta go clean up, text me later?” Cas asked.  
“You know it.” Dean panted as he hit the end call button and slouched into the chair.  
Before Cas cleaned up, he snapped a picture of himself flushed and naked and covered in his own come. He sent it to Dean.

 

5:51pm  
Cas: 1 Attachment  
Dean: You’re gonna be the death of me.  
Cas: ;)


End file.
